Mushroom Me

I'm sitting in the conference room of my continuity clinic, plotting the height and weight of a newborn I'm about to see when all of a sudden, my pager goes off. "Going to a hip-hop class at Dance 101 from 7-8 tonight! Me and R are going. Let me know if you want to come." I momentarily forget the world of percentiles, birth weights and maternal GBS statuses and enter the realm of booty shaking, soul and rhythm. A smile creeps onto my face, and I toss my pager to D, who happens to be in my clinic that day. I see her white pearlies and realize that she, too, has entered within my realm: we're all going to get down tonight!

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to run home, change and be at the dance studio by 7 pm. I ask J to bring a t-shirt for me. As for pants... well, my work pants are cotton... I think I can dance in them. Plus I have my Dansko's. I resolved to make 'em move tonight more than they ever have on call.

I enter the dance studio and am somewhat blinded by its bright lights and toned bodies sporting leggings and tank tops, many girls also with fancy black shoes that I notice are on sale on the wall behind the front desk. There are some serious dancers in this joint. I look down at my Limited pants and black clogs and cringe. I stick out like a sore thumb, pardon the cliche.

After I've paid my fee, I walk onto the beige shiny floor of room 3 and the music blares over the speakers. There are mostly women in the room aside from one African American male who lets it known to the whole room that he can move... he starts shakin his booty before the music had even begun.

The class begins. Warm-ups. Side to side and a kick, and a walk-two-three-stop and a walk-two-three-stop. And stretch. And other side. And arms-two-three-four and hold. I can barely see the instructor from way in the back where me and my 3 girlfriends are hiding. We're all anxious, and try and add some soul into our moves... most of us are Indian. I mean come on... they did put rhythm into our genes, didn't they? Haven't y'all seen us come Garba time? Hip hop is a joke compared to that!

Oh boy were we wrong. Well maybe J kept up ok... she's a trained dancer. I sure couldn't keep up! The moves were fast and pumping and I could see the instructor and I would forget what move came after which move in the coreographed dance she was teaching up. What was most humbling was that most of the people in the room seemed like they were able to keep up well.

Finally, at one point, I leaned over to R and said, "Some of these guys make me feel like I have as much rhythm as a mushroom."

The mushroom me made it through the hour long class. Honestly, I had a great time and I want to go back and try and strut my stuff again. But first up: belly dancing tomorrow night at Dance 101. Let's work those abs! I've also noted that they're holding dance auditions for Beyonce's world tour in early December. I might have a chance...

3 A.M. Neural Processing

I have come to the somewhat startling (but not surprising, nonetheless) conclusion during the last day of month 5 of residency that I was wholly in denial of what a 3 A.M admission truly feels like when I applied for residency.

Another random current neural processing: We have these new phones in the hospital with many ringtones, one of which is super obnoxious, making it a prime weapon for scaring the crap out of people. The ring tone has no nice chimes, bells, chirps or any other kind of lulling melody. It's the sound of a man's voice screaming, "Are you there???!! Are you there??!!!" over and over again. It is of my esteemed opinion that the creator of this particular ring "tone" (and a ring "tone" it is NOT, my friends) must have had schizophrenia if not psychotic tendencies at the very least.

Y'all have a good morning. Oh right. Most people in the world are sleeping at this hour dreaming of how they suddenly fell off a cliff while strolling in the park and discovering their newfound ability to sprout wings and fly through the clouds hovering in a pale, blue sky. Sigh.

Favorite moments at Intern Retreat 2006

1. E winning Twister with some athletic ass moves.
2. M and K shakin' it to Baby got Back.
3. B chuckin' the smily face kickball at M, A and M. The violence towards women MUST stop.
4. C trying to fit into a bunny suit during the "nursery" race.
5. Rooming with A :)
6. Reading S's two truth's and a lie. They made me laugh so hard. I didn't know he could knit!!
7. E sitting on D's lap during the ride up to Anna Ruby falls to help prevent her from being car sick, and then the guard at the falls asking us if we were all over 16.
8. Learning that C is actually an introvert!!
9. Watching S getting down on the dance floor with E.
10. Playing "volleyball" with the chili pepper.
11. Singing to the Indigo Girls at the apex of my lungs with E and the Chief.
12. Overall, I loved sleeping, eating, hanging out with everyone in the beautiful Georgia mountains. The trees were GORGEOUS... almost as good looking as my intern class :) Thanks to our chiefs, our program director and for my colleagues for help making some great memories!!!

Disclaimer

Just for the record, I have not and will not say anything negative about anyone in my residency program including my colleagues, upper levels, chief residents and, of course, attendings. I just wanted to make that completely clear. I'm really happy where I have ended up at residency. I love the people I work with, and my blog is not a place where I will criticize anything about the program. Just for the record... Sorry for the serious post. I'll make up for that later.