You know you're a 4th year medical student when... - Part 2

You know you're a 4th year medical student when you're having internal dialogue with yourself with the goal of trying to leave as soon as possible. Here's the scenario:

It's close to 7 am on 3A @ Ben Taub, Gold Postpartum OB-Gyn team. My team and I - including myself, two other 3rd years, and an intern- are about to round with the upper level. I'm post-call.

During my 24 hours on Labor & Delivery, I've:
- assisted with three deliveries
- delivered my first baby! what a cutie he was!
- got scutted by a fellow 4th year!!@@##$%#$#
- slept for 2 hours in the med student call room, minus the time when I awoke to the sounds of doors banging shut I'm tired.

We only have 5 patients to round on, so I expect to be outta here by 7:15 or so. We round on the patients, and I step forward, ready to put the charts back, ready to head out the door and go home when all of a sudden...

"Why don't we talk a little bit about prenatal care since there's time?" the upper level suggests.

Is this a sick joke? I'm post call! Can't you see?

And then maybe I think I look too cheery, and don't look like i'm post call, so I try and put on my best "haggard" face possible and decide not to suppress any yawns.

No, that's not going to work, I hear myself thinking, you need a way out. Tell her you're post call!

No, i can't do that, cuz then they'll think I'm lazy. But you ARE lazy. Ok, I'm not getting into this discussion with you right now!

Then, I develop a brilliant idea. "Isn't grand rounds today?" I ask the upper level.

"Ohhhh damn. I forgot." says the upper level.

SCORE!!!!!

"Well, we'll just get through what I wanted to talk about in five minutes, and then you guys can go to grand rounds." Sigh.

Somehow I doubted that this was going to take "five minutes." But I decided to keep the hope alive.

"So, when a woman comes in, say she's 8 weeks pregnant, what are some of the things you want to check?" the talk begins.

Silence fills the hallways of Ben Taub 3A, minus the endless gossipping of the Malyali nurses.

I look to my fellow third years. One of them is looking at the ceiling trying to figure out the answer. The other is biting her lip, thinking. I know they both know the answer - i've seen them reading books, but they're 3rd years... they might be afraid to give the wrong answer. How not cute.

Well say something why don't you??!! I hear myself say to myself.
Ok, ok!

"You wanna check some labs like HIV, Rubella..." I say, hoping the third years will fill in the rest.

"Yes, and?" the upper levels says, looking straight at me.

Malyali chatter in the background ensues.

"And Hep B, CBC..." I spatter off the names of other "really bad diseases."

"Ok, very good, and what do you want to check in a mother who's at 24 weeks?" she asks.

Damn, you don't know this one.

Silence again allows us to make out the linguisitc nuances of South Indian chatter.

Then, I telepathically transmit a message to my fellow third years. Say the answer! Say the answer! Say it now otherwise we'll be here forever...

"Is that when you want to check a Glucola test?" asks one of the third years. Now, I was happy to hear this answer, but also afraid that since the third year framed the answer in the form of a question, that the upper level would ask, "I dunno, is it?"

Thankfully, she didn't and we ended our little talk with a discussion on the glucola test. Finally, at 7:15... "Ok, you guys need to go to grand rounds... it's 7:15. Any other questions?"

I telepathically again transmit a message: Don't ask questions... Don't ask questions.... Don't ask questions.

"No questions? Ok then, see you in the morning!"

I headed home. I was one 24 hour OB-Gyn call closer to graduation.