Saying Goodbye

While having lunch with some friends at Morningside Thai on Tuesday, Chirag discovered that I don't wear contact lenses and therefore he recruited me to participate in his study of "corneal topography." So I made a date to meet with him at Smith Tower today to be his guinea pig. Aside from technical difficulties with one of the instruments, which prevent my corneal topographical measurements to be revealed to the public, it was a really fun afternoon. Chirag measured my visual acuity which was 20/15 in the right eye (OD I believe?? is that right, Aheelers?) and 20/30 in my left eye. I was really excited about the 20/15 in my right eye, but Chirag told me that it was that good because I was squinting. I decided that that probably means my right eye is 20/20, based on... well, nothing really...

So getting back to my point. Chirag and I had lunch, and then we went to my place where he kindly helped me move out some of the last remaning items in my apartment.

Now, I'm writing this after he has left. I'm sitting in an empty bedroom, on the carpet, decorated with vacuum cleaner induced stripes. The blinds are closed to my window, and I can hear the hum of the air-conditioning unit. My silver lamp sits in a corner, and it serves as a gentle reminder that I still have possession of my house. But, it's all coming to an end very soon, and I'm really sad.

I have so many memories in this apartment of late night study sessions, coming back from call at the VA at 2 am, Ahila's suprise birthday party, my birthday party that I threw for myself last year. I remember my parents coming over one time on their wedding anniversary because I wasn't able to go home due to an upcoming exam. I think I made them peppermint tea and fed them fancy cookies. I remember all the times Ahila and Yasmin came over, and we just goofed off to the music of "Dancing Queen." I remember having philosophical talks with Tibor... most likely with some sort of Tibor-ish food involved.

I have aching memories of a love lost, but I also have memories of that ache being gradually replaced with warm feelings of hope and and a sense of comfort. I remember one night, my father came over and I cried like a baby with my head in his lap.

I remember those nights that I spent time getting ready to go out with friends... We would always agree to meet at say 9:45 or so, but it would end up that we'd meet at 10:30 and get to the agreed destinated much later than planned. How did that happen almost every single time?! I would pick out an outfit, put on some fun makeup, and leave my home, pepper spray in hand. I remember how every Sunday I would leave my apartment in either a sari or salwar kameez to go to the temple. I would return the same evening from the temple with the same sari, perhaps a little more wrinkled, and with an extra plate of YUMMY prasadam in hand. At the temple, they know I'm a med student so they would always give me extra.

I remember when my AC unit busted during the first year of med school while it was 100 degrees outside, and I spent the night with Liz when she still lived here.

I remember those lazy Sunday mornings, how I would often spend them on my balcony with the pages of the New York Times magazine and a cup of chamomile tea, and the breeze would comb through my hair if the weather was nice. If the weather was really nice, I would sometimes meditate on my balcony. I remember how every year in the spring, I would enjoy watching the baby buds of the tree in front of my balcony spring open with bright green leaves, gradually changing to a darker shade in summer, then to a yellow color in the autumn.

I know that the carpet in my house contains remnants of tears shed - those belonging to me as well as those of my friends. I know for sure that those tears amplify the special quality of my home.

I remember one time Tibor came over unexpectedly and I didn't know it... He knocked at my door and covered the eyepiece just to be funny and disguised his voice. I refused to open the door because I'm an ultra-paranoid single female. When I finally realized it was him, I opened the door and chewed him out! Can you imagine... me chewing out someone as sweet as Tibor!!! That still makes me smile. I'm glad he's still friends with me :)

I remember Ahila coming over once and we practiced our physical exams skills before a test during first year. We had to remember to use the bell of the stethoscope to listen to the mitral valve.

I remember taking walks from my apartment to that park off of Morningside with Ahila, Yasmin and Bunmi on several different occasion. I have renamed that park "The Devi Park." There's really fun swings over there and really cute kids that play there... there's even this cute FOB family :)

I remember Match Day, what I wore and when Yasmin came to pick me up in her 'rolla. She looked really cute that day, as usual.

I remember the day of Baylor prom, and the three of us are getting ready in my bathroom. I was so happy when I found out that Yasmin was coming over that evening, despite the fact that she was super exhausted from her day. Sameer "Boot" Bootwala taught me some rugged Gujurati that night. "Eh boobeck.... pani apso ki nehi?!!" Hey dorkus, are you gonna get me some water, or what?!

All these memories, and so many more that I don't want to say goodbye to, but I will. I hope and pray that many more wonderful memories are waiting to be made in Atlanta.

I have this book called "Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui" and there's a part in it that recommends that you call your home by a name, any name that you choose. According to Feng Shui, there's a life force contained in the home, and in this way, the home is a kind of living entity of its own. In the book it said how when you come home after being out, you can greet your home by the name you have chosen. When I first read this I thought that this was kind of silly (although the rest of the book was really interesting). But as the moving out date approaches, I realize that I feel like I will be saying goodbye to an old friend, someone that has been with me during one of the most exciting, most stressful, most difficult periods of my life.

It will be a difficult goodbye.