The Gruesome Bet

It was great working in a children's hospital on Halloween. There were random people dressed up as clowns and Raggedy Ann handing out candy to the staff, as well as some residents who contributed to the Halloween spirit by dressing up (Mat was a punk rock Margi Gras.... he looked great and apparently didn't scare any of the kids over at Egleston despite his heavy makeup and skull necklace). I really wanted to dress up today, but didn't get my act together in time. In my frantic searh for something this morning in my closet, I uncovered a pair of fake, gliterry eyelashes that just wouldn't stay on my eyelids. They would have been perfect!

My chance to get into the spirit came during my afternoon clinic. It started off when I offered to trade patients with Akemie since her first was Spanish speaking and mine wasn't. I looked at the chart - it was a 5 day old newborn.

I walked into the room and a bundle resting in a Hispanic woman's arms. After getting the history, I picked up the baby from the mother and brought her to the examination table. She looked up at me with these beautiful icteric eyes and golden yellow face. What a great looking jaundiced Halloween baby, I thought. She looked like a jack-o-latern, peering at me with lit up eyes.

After examining the baby, I went to sign out to the great Dr. Berkowitz. I love Dr. Berkowitz. He's initially on the intimidating side with his thick South African accent and ridiculous fund of knowledge, but I love the fact that he's super cultured. He's one of those types that will look up someone's hometown on the world map just to know more about a certain culture or geographical location. I explained to Dr. B that I thought the baby was jaundiced, but not excessively so. We needed to check the baby's bilirubin level.

Now, I feel like I've been able to get along with Dr. B, despite when he yells at me for not checking a kid's retina or for not hearing the S2 split properly. But I didn't expect for him to examine this baby, come out of the room, and say, "You want to place a bet on what this kid's bilirubin level is?"

This was my chance to go one up on Dr. Berkowitz.

"Of course, I do!"

"What shall we bet on?"

Ooooh the possibilities. Money. Candy. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.

"How about a soda?" he says. I can deal with that. It'll a soda that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

"Ummm..."

"Oh, you don't want to place a bet, Dr. Rao?"

"I'll bet you a soda that this kid's bilirubin level is 10," I say with a big smile of my face.

"Ten, you say?" Yikes. Maybe I should go a little lower.

"Ok, 9 is my final answer."

"Alright, nine. I'm going to say his bilirubin is 7."

The bilirubin came back 9.9. Tne minutes later, Dr. Berkowitz hands me a Vault. I'd never had one of these before, but it's a damn good lime soda :) A pretty good Halloween trick or treat, if I do say so myself! Thanks to my gruesome little bili baby bet.